( love. he knows love. brotherly love. family love. but wei wuxian is something else, the space between the beats of his heart, the ache in his blood, more tangible than life and yet too ethereal to be measured. because i love you, wei wuxian says, and lan wangji’s pulse falters and sputters and rises, every nerve in his body aflame with new awareness. he speaks of redemption, of sins that aren’t sins, and boy does he latch onto that, nonsense that makes sense, and lan wangji is beyond willing to pleasure him to salvation.
with a sharp exhale he squeezes him tighter, breathing his name hoarse and overwhelmed as he catches his tear on his tongue, his own cheeks wetter. his chest is a shambled mess, and he kisses his lips with new ferocity, fragments of his nightmares urging him to take and possess, protect, rolling them over to envelop him in his warmth, perched above him. he shakes his head then, gazing into his eyes, visible guilt in his own. ) You died because I let you. ( and tears flow freely, though it’s not enough to deter him, briefly pressing his forehead against his as he seeks his lips once more, lazy brushes of his mouth. ) I should have loved you better. ( his apology, and a smile twitches faint and forlorn against wei wuxian’s lips, fading as the kiss slowly deepens, lan wangji’s body undulating at the same languid tempo as his tongue around his. ) But I could not have loved you more. ( his promise, whispered between shuddering breaths. he makes quick work of his ribbon, pulled free before his hands slide feverish down wei wuxian’s body, tugging and yanking until only skin remains; untied hair pools around their faces, and lan wangji bites, bottom lip gently trapped between his teeth as he lets out a soft wanting moan. )
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with a sharp exhale he squeezes him tighter, breathing his name hoarse and overwhelmed as he catches his tear on his tongue, his own cheeks wetter. his chest is a shambled mess, and he kisses his lips with new ferocity, fragments of his nightmares urging him to take and possess, protect, rolling them over to envelop him in his warmth, perched above him. he shakes his head then, gazing into his eyes, visible guilt in his own. ) You died because I let you. ( and tears flow freely, though it’s not enough to deter him, briefly pressing his forehead against his as he seeks his lips once more, lazy brushes of his mouth. ) I should have loved you better. ( his apology, and a smile twitches faint and forlorn against wei wuxian’s lips, fading as the kiss slowly deepens, lan wangji’s body undulating at the same languid tempo as his tongue around his. ) But I could not have loved you more. ( his promise, whispered between shuddering breaths. he makes quick work of his ribbon, pulled free before his hands slide feverish down wei wuxian’s body, tugging and yanking until only skin remains; untied hair pools around their faces, and lan wangji bites, bottom lip gently trapped between his teeth as he lets out a soft wanting moan. )