The other night, at that dinner, I saw something I never thought I would see in his eyes. I did not recognize it at the time, but I do now.
My brother is quiet and was often misunderstood as a youth. But he would have never sought violence in the past. His soul was pure.
[Does your alternate worlds explain that? Lan Xichen never did care if there were any discrepancies. His brother was loved in any iteration. Meeting the second Lan Wangji already clarified that for him.
More than anything, he doesn't want to see any Wangji go down a dark path. Wei Wuxian, who loved him more than anyone else Lan Xichen knew, should have been highly attuned to that. Unless he was causing it. In infinite possible worlds, they can't rule out the potential for a Yiling Patriarch that never changed.]
You don't need to worry, your brother's soul is still pure.
[something in him bristles, not because of any unspoken accusations tossed his way. that's any given day in the yiling patriarch's life.
but he's less forgiving when it's lan wangji who's being spoke illy or unfairly of.]
What you saw that day was anger, yes. And frustration that the one responsible for the deaths of several that he knew and loved would try to slither out of something as simple as answering in words for those who weren't alive to hear them in the temple that day.
If you've never seen that in his eyes before, maybe it's because you've never stood across from him for that.
[if lan wangji seems like a stranger to him, that feeling is increasingly mutual.]
[He expected that much. The defensive, eager-to-judge response from a cultivator that was judged. Wei Wuxian had been the most reasonable before. He had been the one to keep Lan Wangji from becoming what he could have easily become. His experience after being isolated and mistreated had made him more kind, not less.
This man sounds like a Jin. A sect member.]
I have always thought that you were not one to be blinded by prejudice and assumption. Am I wrong?
You are assuming, for one, that I do not seek justice. That I do not wish the best for my brother, it seems, is another assumption on your part.
I suppose you feel that no one could love or understand him as well as you. Perhaps in this case you have some ground to say that. You two have become close in a way that denies much else. But I would have thought you a reasonable person anyway.
[He had listened in that temple. Not bowed to excuses, but he had listened and sought the truth for himself. Not blindly letting even Lan Wangji take his voice, because of his love for Lan Wangji. He had been the protector. Is that still Wei Wuxian now?]
What exactly did you think your brother was going to do that night? That you intervened wasn't entirely surprising to me, but suddenly I'm not sure of your reasons for it.
[with jin guangyao as his bonded, knowing how strong bonds can be, maybe he should be thinking a little bit more of these things. and not automatically assuming that zewu-jun would still be and act as the zewu-jun he's always known.]
[What did he think Wangji would do? It hurts just to hear that and have to think about what he thought Wangji might do. What he expected was worse than the treatment his mother got.]
I did not wish to witness my brother take action, even on behalf of Jin Zixuan and yourself. He might be poison, but I could not bear to see my brother take the answers from Jin Guangyao by force.
[It's not so much Jin Guangyao he worries about, but Wangji. Brought up to detest evil, it would be easier to lure him into ruining himself by antagonizing him and giving him an excuse that sounded good on the surface.]
The only action Lan Zhan wished to take was to stop him from running from Jin Zixuan's questions.
[it was an opportunity really, for the naga to speak up with his own forked tongue. the reason that wei wuxian, for once, held his own and was prepared to listen, only to ironically cast more doubt upon himself by doing so. but a few misunderstandings might've been solved at that table if he hadn't tried to flee.]
Someone should have. Ideally, you.
[he'll admit to that. and if lan zhan acted impulsively, maybe his influence is to blame. but the belief in influence between other bondmates might also be the reason why lan zhan didn't trust that his brother would. it's too late to know for sure.]
Me? You think I would not tell Jin Guangyao to face his brother?
[Had he even had the chance? They were all ready to speak or act far before he even finished talking to Jin Zixuan and assuring him that he would, in fact, make sure answers were provided. Another assumption it seems they made without him. That he wasn't acting.]
If it were just to prevent Jin Guangyao from dodging questions, that would be one thing, but laying those terrible things bare in front of Lady Jiang and Jin-gongzi, who was put on the spot, was- maybe you don't understand.
[With the blinders of justice on, suddenly no one cares about collateral at all. They think they have to have it their way and now or not at all. Anything less is just denial or retaliation. That is what Jin Guangshan had used as his excuse. And Wen Ruohan. Any answer they didn't like was immediately defiant.]
I can only say that I would not have let him remain silent.
[he can't know for sure now, can he? maybe another opportunity will come up in the future, but for now it must be filed under "hopeful but unsure".]
They're my sister and nephew too, I do understand. I don't even disagree with you on that. But it was Jin Zixuan's choice and his home. I won't fault him for it.
[maybe there's an assumption that everyone else there knew what was coming. they didn't.]
You may not fault him, Wei Wuxian, but I cannot stay silent or allow such things to go on without doing something. Jin-gongzi is your nephew and your sister was obviously caught by that behavior. I believed it was right to protect them as well.
[If all they wanted were answers, then there was never a need to jump on Jin Guangyao right then. They could easily find him through Lan Xichen, and he certainly had nowhere to run. Wanting to act right then and there absolutely read as a mob mentality of stoning someone before questioning. The victims were safe now and the culprit was exposed and known. Lan Xichen sighs deeply.]
If you cannot trust what I will do, then what is it you plan to do?
[These are a fashion of Wei Wuxian's own words. Yes, I did wrong and you can't forgive me, so what do we do? Fight each other forever? Never trust anyone? Lan Xichen at least wants to trust.]
[There is a soft noise that is actually gentle humor. Tired, but there.]
You wanted to ask if I wasn't who you knew before. Because our answers differed?
If I'm not, then who am I to you then?
[If they are from different worlds or potential worlds, then if he's "wrong" does that mean Wei Wuxian is giving up on him? Does it matter what worlds they are from?]
I love him. That will never change for me, as much as it will not change for you. Does that matter to you?
It matters a lot. [lan zhan will always need his brother. and if they're not from the exact same world, so be it. he and jiang cheng never shared a drop of the same blood.] It's all I need. I wouldn't ask anything more of you.
[he is still much like the man that they knew, so much that wei wuxian didn't question it for a long time. the ways that he differs, he's actually curious to know the reasons.]
He loves you too. If he didn't - ah, I don't know if you've ever seen it, but he has this way of not looking at someone and telling them that they're not qualified to speak to him. I get cold chills just thinking about it.
[Lan Xichen does often think that he has become unworthy of his brother's love. It's something he had never experienced before coming to Aefenglom. No matter how tense things became or how many questions arose, Lan Wangji had never stopped turning to Lan Xichen whenever he had needs. When Wei Wuxian, resurrected, had been accused of evil plots, even then Wangji had not hesitated to come home. He had not doubted his brother's faith.
It's a brand new feeling to be the scorned and mistrusted one. He sighs softly, relieved that at least Wei Wuxian seems to be telling the truth, but still conflicted on where everything stands. If they really did live in a way that made Xichen seem suspicious now, what exactly happened?]
I remember that you said once that your memories of- of your final days in your past life were unclear. Tormented. Do you remember what I told you then?
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no subject
Would you allow anything to happen to him?
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Zewu-jun, have I given you some reason to believe otherwise? I'm asking sincerely, because I want to fix it myself if I have.
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My brother is quiet and was often misunderstood as a youth. But he would have never sought violence in the past. His soul was pure.
[Does your alternate worlds explain that? Lan Xichen never did care if there were any discrepancies. His brother was loved in any iteration. Meeting the second Lan Wangji already clarified that for him.
More than anything, he doesn't want to see any Wangji go down a dark path. Wei Wuxian, who loved him more than anyone else Lan Xichen knew, should have been highly attuned to that. Unless he was causing it. In infinite possible worlds, they can't rule out the potential for a Yiling Patriarch that never changed.]
no subject
[something in him bristles, not because of any unspoken accusations tossed his way. that's any given day in the yiling patriarch's life.
but he's less forgiving when it's lan wangji who's being spoke illy or unfairly of.]
What you saw that day was anger, yes. And frustration that the one responsible for the deaths of several that he knew and loved would try to slither out of something as simple as answering in words for those who weren't alive to hear them in the temple that day.
If you've never seen that in his eyes before, maybe it's because you've never stood across from him for that.
[if lan wangji seems like a stranger to him, that feeling is increasingly mutual.]
no subject
[He expected that much. The defensive, eager-to-judge response from a cultivator that was judged. Wei Wuxian had been the most reasonable before. He had been the one to keep Lan Wangji from becoming what he could have easily become. His experience after being isolated and mistreated had made him more kind, not less.
This man sounds like a Jin. A sect member.]
I have always thought that you were not one to be blinded by prejudice and assumption. Am I wrong?
no subject
Then please enlighten me, Zewu-jun. What have I assumed?
no subject
I suppose you feel that no one could love or understand him as well as you. Perhaps in this case you have some ground to say that. You two have become close in a way that denies much else. But I would have thought you a reasonable person anyway.
[He had listened in that temple. Not bowed to excuses, but he had listened and sought the truth for himself. Not blindly letting even Lan Wangji take his voice, because of his love for Lan Wangji. He had been the protector. Is that still Wei Wuxian now?]
no subject
[with jin guangyao as his bonded, knowing how strong bonds can be, maybe he should be thinking a little bit more of these things. and not automatically assuming that zewu-jun would still be and act as the zewu-jun he's always known.]
no subject
I did not wish to witness my brother take action, even on behalf of Jin Zixuan and yourself. He might be poison, but I could not bear to see my brother take the answers from Jin Guangyao by force.
[It's not so much Jin Guangyao he worries about, but Wangji. Brought up to detest evil, it would be easier to lure him into ruining himself by antagonizing him and giving him an excuse that sounded good on the surface.]
no subject
[it was an opportunity really, for the naga to speak up with his own forked tongue. the reason that wei wuxian, for once, held his own and was prepared to listen, only to ironically cast more doubt upon himself by doing so. but a few misunderstandings might've been solved at that table if he hadn't tried to flee.]
Someone should have. Ideally, you.
[he'll admit to that. and if lan zhan acted impulsively, maybe his influence is to blame. but the belief in influence between other bondmates might also be the reason why lan zhan didn't trust that his brother would. it's too late to know for sure.]
no subject
[Had he even had the chance? They were all ready to speak or act far before he even finished talking to Jin Zixuan and assuring him that he would, in fact, make sure answers were provided. Another assumption it seems they made without him. That he wasn't acting.]
If it were just to prevent Jin Guangyao from dodging questions, that would be one thing, but laying those terrible things bare in front of Lady Jiang and Jin-gongzi, who was put on the spot, was- maybe you don't understand.
[With the blinders of justice on, suddenly no one cares about collateral at all. They think they have to have it their way and now or not at all. Anything less is just denial or retaliation. That is what Jin Guangshan had used as his excuse. And Wen Ruohan. Any answer they didn't like was immediately defiant.]
I can only say that I would not have let him remain silent.
no subject
[he can't know for sure now, can he? maybe another opportunity will come up in the future, but for now it must be filed under "hopeful but unsure".]
They're my sister and nephew too, I do understand. I don't even disagree with you on that. But it was Jin Zixuan's choice and his home. I won't fault him for it.
[maybe there's an assumption that everyone else there knew what was coming. they didn't.]
no subject
[If all they wanted were answers, then there was never a need to jump on Jin Guangyao right then. They could easily find him through Lan Xichen, and he certainly had nowhere to run. Wanting to act right then and there absolutely read as a mob mentality of stoning someone before questioning. The victims were safe now and the culprit was exposed and known. Lan Xichen sighs deeply.]
If you cannot trust what I will do, then what is it you plan to do?
[These are a fashion of Wei Wuxian's own words. Yes, I did wrong and you can't forgive me, so what do we do? Fight each other forever? Never trust anyone? Lan Xichen at least wants to trust.]
no subject
[he blinks a few times at that question. what does he plan to do?]
Happy hour starts in twenty minutes, so there's that.
no subject
You wanted to ask if I wasn't who you knew before. Because our answers differed?
If I'm not, then who am I to you then?
[If they are from different worlds or potential worlds, then if he's "wrong" does that mean Wei Wuxian is giving up on him? Does it matter what worlds they are from?]
I love him. That will never change for me, as much as it will not change for you. Does that matter to you?
no subject
[he is still much like the man that they knew, so much that wei wuxian didn't question it for a long time. the ways that he differs, he's actually curious to know the reasons.]
He loves you too. If he didn't - ah, I don't know if you've ever seen it, but he has this way of not looking at someone and telling them that they're not qualified to speak to him. I get cold chills just thinking about it.
no subject
It's a brand new feeling to be the scorned and mistrusted one. He sighs softly, relieved that at least Wei Wuxian seems to be telling the truth, but still conflicted on where everything stands. If they really did live in a way that made Xichen seem suspicious now, what exactly happened?]
I remember that you said once that your memories of- of your final days in your past life were unclear. Tormented. Do you remember what I told you then?